3 Simple Breathing Techniques for ‘Weathering the Storm’

A few days ago I wrote 5 Steps to BEing Calm. In it I emphasized the importance of practicing meditation as a method for stress reduction. Meditation is simply being still for a period of time while focusing on one’s breath. What is the point of that? Isn’t breathing kind of . . . normal?

What if I forget to breathe?

I remember a time my elderly father asked me, “Deb, what happens if a person forgets to breathe?” We both laughed at the silliness of the question and I teased him saying he needn’t worry because he would pass out and begin to breath again, if he forgot. As I think back on those days when Dad lived with me, he worried a lot. He worried about dying, about having his daughter care for him, about being a burden. Apparently, he even worried about breathing.

Breathing: It’s good for our health

Worry is something I’m familiar with. I often say I come from a long line of worriers. The thing about habitual worriers is we aren’t consciously aware of our breathing. We are breathing, of course, but we are not doing the best job of it. I am certain my dad would catch himself either holding his breath or taking shallow quick breaths, perhaps to the point of an anxiety attack, like so many others, including me. Which is probably why he came to me to ask the question about breathing.

So what’s the big deal about breathing? Aren’t we all doing it all the time? We are. However, it’s amazing what we can learn about ourselves if we start paying attention to things like our breath.


3 breathing techniques to ‘weather the storm’:

  1. Awareness: Pay attention to your breath throughout the day. Is your breathing generally shallow? Fast or slow? Of course this will depend on activity level. Becoming aware of how we breath in various circumstances is the very first step. Think about your breathing throughout the day.
  2. Deep Breathing Exercise: Sit down in a comfortable position (commit to 5 minutes). Take a deep breath in through the nose and release it through your mouth with a sigh. Inhale slowly, feeling the breath go in through the nostrils and follow it into your chest, belly, or deeper. Now slowly exhale through the nose, completely and fully, emptying your lungs. Repeat, slowly inhaling deeper, if possible, pause, then exhale slowly and deeply. Pause briefly before inhaling again. Now breath normally, however it feels natural to you. How do you feel? Tense? Nervous? Calm? Silly? There’s no right answer, this is about how you being aware of how you feel.
  3. Counting Breath Exercise: Find a comfortable place to sit quietly (commit to 5 minutes). Close your eyes if you wish. Take a deep breath in through the nose and release it with an open mouth audible sigh. Now do it again. Close your eyes and breathe normally – inhale, exhale, however it feels natural to you for a few breaths. gradually inhale through the nose deeper, feel the breath entering the nostrils, flowing into the throat and deeper, into your belly if that feels comfortable. Exhale slowly and purposely through the nose. Next inhale while counting 1, 2, 3, pause. Exhale for a count of 3. Continue this for five or six additional breaths. Then allow yourself to breath normally and evaluate how you feel.

These techniques are simple and easy. While breathing is something we all do all the time, without thinking, I believe if we put some thought and focus into practicing and paying attention, it can help us to weather any storm life deals us.

May we all breathe easier – with practice.

Indian Summer: a Christmas Letter

The calendar tells me it is indeed December, even though my brain cannot comprehend how fast the year has gone. We are content with the warmish temperatures lately – highs in the 40s – in our corner of Michigan. It’s like an Indian summer around here, finally. By the way, I discovered Indian summer has two meanings:

  1. a period of unusually dry, warm weather occurring in late autumn.
  2. a period of happiness or success occurring late in life.

As I write this we are mere minutes away from waving good-bye to autumn and welcoming (with mostly open arms) the official start of winter. The second definition of Indian summer reminds me that periods of happiness and success are something to be cherished. The trick is what we do with those moments in between.

We are having a lot of fun living this farm adventure. I’ve taken to sharing pictures of our animals on social media because they’re funny creatures – all of them. There’s a lot we can learn from watching animal behavior, whether in nature or in our back yards. The way they interact with each other and with us can be comical and it can be frightening too.

That ‘pecking order’ thing – it’s real, and not just with chickens. Rusty, the cat, is in charge of the other cats. Dixie, (our Black Beauty) is the boss of Zima. Lily, the lamb, is mostly in charge of her three siblings. While Rika, the wonder dog, is the boss of all the animals except the young rooster (who is currently undergoing ‘training’ to become a gentlemen, or else). It’s fascinating how they figure out their place in the flock or herd and they never worry about tomorrow. Animals know how to live in the moment.

To the casual observer it may appear to be complete peace on earth over here, but we know better – there is conflict and chaos all around us. You probably know what I mean.

Caring for livestock brings us silly moments of happiness and occasional feelings of success. I’ll take it.  When all are fed and watered, we do feel successful. But a kink in the hose or an unexpected rooster attack can ruin the day if we let it. Which means we must grab hold of, and be thankful for, all those little Indian summer moments. Those moments in between though, we should really practice a little gratitude for them too. Without them we might take for granted the lovely Indian summer moments.

It’s nice when the grandkids visit because they all want to help with chores. Although Owen is 12 and more interested in driving the Kawasaki Mule than gathering eggs. Olivia is 9 and leaps, pirouettes, and splits her way from point A to point B. Morgan is also 9 and does back-bends, and flip-overs across the yard, while dribbling a basketball. Ella is 6 and is happy as can be to kick a soccer ball everywhere she goes. And Charlotte is 2 and . . . well, she tries ALL the above with gusto (except for the driving part, of course).

Come to think of it they don’t really help that much with chores on their visits, but those visits are definitely part of our Indian summer moments.

May all your moments be filled with love and joy and gratitude.

5 Steps to BEing Calm

For many of us the daily challenges we face can feel like too much to handle on some days. Modern medicine tells us we must learn to reduce the stress in our lives. We’re told to just calm down, relax, chill! If you’re like me those suggestions are not helpful. So how do we start?

I recently started a daily practice of meditating for ten minutes. Only ten minutes, y’all! And it’s helping my overall emotional and physical well-being. It may seem daunting to BEgin but that’s all it takes. And in the end, learning to just BE is one of the most important things we can do for self-care.

Here are my 5 steps to BEing calm:

  1. BEgin today. Don’t wait any longer. There’s no right or wrong way to meditate. It’s basically sitting still and breathing. You are already breathing so now all you have to do is sit still and just BE for ten minutes. It can be anywhere, preferably where you can BE alone but even if you can’t, you can still BE still and breathe, anywhere. Sitting in a chair, on the floor, with legs crossed or straight out in front, are all perfectly fine. BE comfortable.
  2. Use a phone app if you can. I am using one called Calm and another called HeadSpace. I tried both with free trials and ended up purchasing a subscription to each. These are great tools to help us get started because they guide us through the ten minutes, reminding us to focus on our breath and walk us through relaxing and just BEing. These apps also have tools for helping us sleep with relaxing sounds in the background. You don’t NEED an app to meditate but I have found it excellent for a beginner like me. 
  3. Light a candle or incense if you are so inclined. These are not mandatory but I find it helpful to set the mood relaxation relaxation.
  4. Set reminders to practice at whatever time of day works best for you. Experts say first thing in the morning is best, but I grab my ten minutes when it’s convenient for me – usually in the middle of the day. 
  5. BEgin. There’s no better time than now. The benefits of this short daily practice are immense and cannot be denied. Just ten minutes a day of BEing still, calming the mind, and breathing deeply with awareness of the breath, can reap huge health benefits both physically and emotionally. Now keep it up because before long this new habit will be something you look forward to every single day.

Harmony at Our Fingertips

If you’re like me you may be asking (or screaming to no one in particular), “What is happening?” The division, the spewing of hateful words back and forth, the widening tribal gap, the alternative reality that our president lives in, the openly outright lies and gas-lighting – it’s too much to take some days. But the ugliness that happened because of a man named Kavanaugh, that has sent many women (in particular) spiraling into a deep sadness and grief, or for many more, spurred an enraged feeling of knowing enough is enough. 

Thankfully harmony is at our fingertips. For some of us it is found in prayer, in meditation or on the yoga mat. Harmony opens up to us when we seek it. I needed this reminder this week. Continue reading

The Dandelion Knows

Dandelion

Do you have trouble letting go of things? Are you having trouble letting go of the insane political climate? Letting go of choices you made long ago? Do you remember something you wish you’d done differently or at least wonder, what if?

Dandelions totally get it. A perfectly adorable yellow flower turns into a seed pod that has no intention of holding on to those hundreds of seeds. It knows how to let go.

Continue reading

Unmade Bed

unmade bed

Sometimes I don’t make the bed. I don’t see the point in making it pretty every darned day for literally no one to see. Many days I don’t even see it myself until I pull the covers down to climb back into it.

Man I miss this bedroom. It’s my old bedroom from my last house and it was spacious, soothing, quiet, with just the right amount of natural light coming in. I am reminded by this picture of many years where my hubby traveled and I slept alone in this big bed. Making it was simple – pull up the covers on my side and walk away. Continue reading

Beauty All Around

purple tulip

Beauty is everywhere if we will only notice it. Some days it’s harder than others to see it.

Yesterday the theme of my blog post was the word indivisible and I thought about the Pledge of Allegiance and the meaning behind it. I said I didn’t have a solution for this problem our country is facing – the divide, the dissent, the anger between individuals and lawmakers. Actually I do.  Continue reading

No Lie

Writing Pen

There’s been a lot of talk lately about liars. So much in fact, that new phrases have become popular and acceptable, like fake news and alternative facts. People are arguing that ‘all politicians lie,’ as though, if true, it somehow makes it acceptable which causes one to ask, does truth-telling matter? I suppose a blog called The Other Side of Denial should at least address the dilemma.

Interestingly, the basic definition of denial is: the action of declaring something to be untrue.

Well, holy moly, this blog is referencing the act of lying! I’ve been living in denial about my blog about living in denial. No lie. Continue reading

Grieving the Loss of Myself

Last month my identity was stolen. It might not have been such an excruciatingly horrid experience if it were not for the fact that we are smack dab in the middle of buying our dream property—you know, with the necessary credit checks, title searches, folks googling our names to be sure we are who we say we are. It is only by chance that we discovered my stolen identity, as it is in most cases. There is no Stolen Identity Bureau of the government who notifies us when our social security number has been used illicitly.

The nightmare began when we attempted to file our tax returns electronically, like we have for years. To our surprise the system rejected our returns because someone had previously filed using my social security number. We are lucky because the fake return was rejected, which means the thief did not receive our refund. We are unlucky because our refund will now be held up for 180 days while the IRS proceeds to confirm I am who I say I am. And unlucky because we were forced to file via snail mail (certified & registered) – complete with an affidavit, a form explaining what happened, the police report case number, and copies of my social security card and passport. Continue reading